Episode 3: Cold Screen and Flickering Streetlamp (NO RESPONSE)

Unable to overcome my frustration, I went out into the night street and it was cold and quiet. A yellow streetlight flickered on with a high-frequency crackling sound above Su-ah's head, standing under an old telephone pole at the entrance of a neighborhood alley. Every time the streetlights repeatedly turned on and off, the darkness in the alley deepened and deepened. Sua took out a smartphone with a blue case from her coat pocket. When I touched the black screen, the screen turned on and a messaging app appeared. [Sua: Can I meet you on the rooftop after class tomorrow?] A short sentence of only 19 characters.

To write it down, she wrote and erased it dozens of times. However, even an hour after pressing the send button, the obscene number '1' did not disappear from the screen. 'NO RESPONSE.' The tips of my fingers holding the smartphone trembled slightly. Maybe he's sleeping? Or is he still studying in the academy’s reading room? I thought of many reasonable reasons in my head, but the cold anxiety rising in a corner of my heart grew uncontrollably. Crackling-! The streetlights flashed strongly again.

At that moment, beyond the afterimage of the flickering lights, a familiar silhouette passed by across the alley. A boy with slightly curly dark brown hair, wearing the baggy gray hoodie and black slacks he always wore. “Minwoo…?” Su-ah took a step without realizing it. But the next moment, when the streetlights fully turned on and the surroundings became brighter, there was only a cold concrete wall and empty soda cans rolling in the wind across the alley. It was a mere fleeting illusion created by his own earnest longing.

Sua put her smartphone in her pocket and lowered her head. My own shadow, cast under the cold sodium light of the street lamp, seemed unusually long and lonely. The cold night air passed by as if it were going to sting her cheeks, but Su-ah didn't even think about raising the collar of her coat. Between the complicated wires tangled around telephone poles, bare tree branches in late autumn swayed in the wind, casting eerie shadows on the street. Standing under the crackling streetlight, Su-ah pressed the power button on her smartphone several times and turned it off. Every time the screen turned on, the dazzling blue light illuminated her pale face coldly.

[Unread 1] That single number pressed down on her heart like an insurmountable iron wall. In my memories, Minwoo was always a child who responded quickly. Even if you just send one word, "Hey, what are you doing?", in less than a minute, you'll be like, "I'm eating ramen. What about you?" This was the guy who sent me a text right away. He remained silent when he received a short text message telling him to meet him on the rooftop.

'Have you noticed?... … ?' Su-ah’s heart sank. Yesterday, on the way home from school, I remembered my friends whispering in front of the crosswalk that Minwoo had confessed to me from a girl in another class. At that time, Minwoo didn't respond and just smiled and scratched the back of his head as if embarrassed. That smile kept flashing before her eyes, so Su-ah couldn't even breathe properly the whole day. What if someone else is already in that child's heart? Isn't this belated trembling of mine nothing more than an old friend's petty obsession or a burdensome burden?

“Chick-pot.” The street lights went out and the alley was plunged into deep darkness. At that moment, the sound of soft footsteps seemed to be heard through the sound of the wind. Su-a was startled and raised her head, but on the other side of the alley, there were only a few fallen leaves rolling on the empty asphalt. Loneliness became the cold night dew that settled on the tips of her eyelashes. The humming sound of a compressor motor came from an old beverage vending machine standing at the corner of an alley. The front panel of the vending machine had a foggy photo promoting cans of warm milk tea.

Sua took two coins out of her pocket and put them into the slot. Rattling, thud. Two cans of warm milk tea fell into the drain one after another. Habit is truly a scary thing. Since this was the path I always walked with Minwoo, my fingers had developed the habit of always taking two out of a vending machine without realizing it. Sua held a hot can in each hand. The warmth transmitted through the aluminum can warmed my cold fingers, but the can in my left hand had no object to transmit the warmth to, so it was slowly cooling down in the night wind.

“It’s so stupid….” Sua quietly looked down at the cooling can. What is Minwoo doing right now? Did he really not see his text, or did he choose to remain silent and pretend not to notice? During the time when no reply was received, human imagination continued to create only the most cruel and painful scenarios. Maybe he had already sensed his feelings and was hitting a wall to push Su-ah away who was trying to cross the line of being friends. The streetlights flickered once again. The faded posters on the telephone poles in the alley fluttered in the wind, and a drop of Su-ah's tears fell on the cold asphalt, leaving a black stain.

Holding a can of milk tea that had cooled down in her hand, Sua walked slowly along the alley. On the low wall of the alley, a stray cat walked quietly, stopped, and stared at Su-ah with its yellow eyes. The night dew on the tip of the cat's fur sparkled silver in the light of the street lamp.

“Are you lonely at night too?” When Su-a asked quietly, instead of answering, the cat lightly waved its tail and silently jumped over the dark roof. The alley was once again immersed in complete silence. Sua took out her smartphone and checked the screen again. There was still no notification. The clock at the top of the screen was already approaching midnight. I remembered something I experienced in this alley two winters ago. When Min-woo slipped on an icy road and broke his knee badly, he ran from somewhere in a hurry, picked up Su-a, and ran to the orthopedic clinic in one go.

I could feel his heavy breathing behind my back, the sweaty nape of his neck, and the angry expression in his eyes that said, “You idiot, look straight ahead” while his eyes were full of worry. That night, Su-ah made a promise as she carried Min-woo on his wide back. I think I will love this person for the rest of my life. But as the love grew, paradoxically, the distance between them became increasingly distant. The flickering light of the streetlight beneath the telephone pole darkly shook Suah's shadow. Like a light flickering alone in the darkness, a cold fear that her heart would one day be completely extinguished crept up from her toes.

Fluorescent lights were shining brightly through the window of a small 24-hour convenience store located at the end of an alley. The automatic door opened and a clear chime sounded. Jingling- Jingling. The local lady who was guarding the counter saw Su-ah and greeted her with a happy face.

“Oh, Su-a, are you here? What’s going on at this late hour? Oh, Min-woo didn’t come with you today? You two come hand-in-hand every day and buy triangle kimbap.” Sua's heart sank at that sweet question. In the eyes of the locals, the two were seen as best friends who always followed each other like shadows. Su-ah smiled awkwardly and nodded.

“Ah, yes… Minwoo is busy with academy today.” “I see. We both became very busy after entering high school. Let’s quickly drink something warm and go back in to rest.” “Thank you, ma’am.” Sua picked up another can of warm citron tea next to the water heater and finished paying. My steps leaving the convenience store were as heavy as lead.

'They came together every day... … .' The woman's indifferent words rang in Su-ah's ears and pierced her heart. The distance between two people that everyone took for granted. His unrequited love, which he had hidden behind the obvious, was now becoming an invisible crack separating the two people. I looked up at the cold night sky. The half-moon faintly revealed through the clouds was looking down at her with cold eyes. At the end of the alley, the old children's playground was drenched in cold night dew. Two swings hanging from rusty chains creaked and swayed slightly in the night wind.

Squeak, squeal. Su-ah wiped the wet swing seat with a handkerchief and carefully sat down. When I touched the can of warm citron tea in my hand to my cheek, a sweet and bitter scent pierced my nose. I gently kicked the sandy floor with my toes and moved the swing back and forth. A brief feeling of weightlessness every time your feet are in the air. During summer vacation when I was in the 5th grade of elementary school, there was a day when Minwoo and I sat on this swing and made a bet to see who could climb higher and jump farther.

“Hey! Hansoo! I’m really flying to the sky this time!” Minwoo rolled off the swing with all his strength and threw himself into the air, hitting his butt in the sand and giggling while covered in dirt. At that time, the white sand particles on the child's cheeks and the dazzling sunlight. In those days, I felt like a hero who had completed all the adventures in the world just by jumping off the swing. But now, Su-ah was just stamping her feet, unable to jump even a single inch from the swing in her mind. The fear that holds you back, a petty defense mechanism to avoid getting hurt.

Su-ah strengthened the hand holding the swing rope. The smell of rust from the chains permeated my palms. Like a swing that has to fall back to the ground no matter how high it jumps, her heart was just spinning around without finding the courage to soar through the air of confession. As she left the convenience store and passed the entrance to apartment building 102, Su-a's steps naturally slowed down. The orange automatic sensor light in the lobby was turned on beyond the glass door of the entrance, and mailboxes were neatly lined up on the wall. Among them, room 703, Minwoo’s mailbox.

I could see a corner of a newspaper slightly sticking out through a gap in the mailbox. Sua touched the glass door of the lobby. What happens when you enter the password, take the elevator to the 7th floor, and ring the doorbell of his house? The door opens and Minwoo, dressed in pajamas, rubs his eyes and asks, “Hey, what’s going on this late at night?” If you ask me, will I be able to look at that face and reveal my true feelings?

'I can't do it. 'I can never do it.' Su-ah knew very well her own weakness. It was obvious that when I actually met his face, I would act like nothing had happened again, make a lame joke and say, "Oh, I was just passing by and thought of you," and run away. The smartphone in my pocket was cold.

'NO RESPONSE.' The silence on the screen might not have been sent by Minwoo, but rather a sentence Suah herself had given herself. The complaint of a cowardly child who hit the wall first, hid himself for fear of being hurt first, and hoped that the other person would knock on the door on his own. Sua slowly removed her hand from the lobby glass door. The print of her hand left on the window slowly faded and disappeared in the cold night air. The street trees of the apartment complex swayed in the wind and made a chilling sound of waves, and Su-a lowered her head and took heavy steps toward Building 101, where her house was located.

Sitting on the bench in front of the entrance to building 101, Su-a blew out white, shattering breath into the air. It was after 1 a.m., and all the street lights in the complex were turned off except for a few, making the darkness even deeper. In the distance, the window of Minwoo’s room on the 7th floor of Building 102 was still immersed in cold darkness. I took out my smartphone from my pocket and placed it on my palm. A silent rectangular machine that neither vibrates nor rings. It is said that modern society is an era of hyper-connectivity where people can communicate with people on the other side of the world at the speed of light, but in reality, no communication technology could shorten the 100-meter distance from the person they most wanted to communicate with.

“What are you dreaming about now….” Sua placed her cheek on the smartphone screen. The feel of the cold tempered glass touched my eyes and cooled my slight fever. Although Minwoo seemed indifferent, he was always amazing at noticing small changes in Suah. On the day I got my hair cut, he would glance at me all day long, saying, "Hey, did you get a ponytail? That's funny." He would put a ginger tea bag in my bag the next day when I had a cold and was coughing. Such meticulous warmth tamed Su-ah and made her harbor a dangerous desire to monopolize that affection.

'NO RESPONSE.' The silence on the screen might have been punishment for her selfish greed. Looking at her own shadow wandering under the light of the street lamp, Su-ah took a deep breath. The cold night air was freezing the core deep inside my heart. Su-ah quietly opened the front door of the house and entered, neatly taking off her shoes and putting them in the shoe rack. In the darkness of the living room, I could hear my parents' even breathing through the crack in the master bedroom door. The world was as calm as always, and no one noticed the storm that arose in her heart.

Su-ah returned to the bedroom and hung her wet coat on a hanger. I looked down at the smartphone on the desk. Black liquid crystal still not blinking. But now that silence no longer terrified her. This is because, free from the weakness that was eating away at the other person's reaction, he was now ready to stand confidently on his own two feet.

'NO RESPONSE' was not the end, but a sign of a new beginning. Su-ah got under the blanket and laid down. As I pressed my cheek against the pillow, relief and deep fatigue came over me. Tomorrow morning, when the sun rises, she will look straight into Minwoo's eyes and say her first words. The smartphone screen briefly turned on and off in the dark. A red warning light flashed indicating 15 percent battery remaining. Sua found the charger cable and plugged it into the bottom of the smartphone. A green lightning bolt appeared on the screen along with a small crackling sound.

Even machines can be recharged with electricity when they run out of energy, but where does the human mind get its energy? It was the other person's warm eyes, kind words, and sincere faith in each other. It was a night when she was hurt by the silence (NO RESPONSE), but paradoxically, that silence became a mirror that allowed Su-ah to look deeper into her own heart. Before blaming Minwoo for not answering, he reflected on his cowardice for not approaching honestly and confidently first.

“I’ll speak first tomorrow.” Sua put down her charging smartphone. The streetlights outside the window were gently swaying and melting into the dawn fog. The battery in her heart was also being filled with new hope and courage. The neighborhood alleys in the morning were completely different from the gloomy and cold appearance of the night before. The flickering street lights beneath the telephone poles were turned off, and instead the warm golden morning sunlight was shining brightly on the asphalt floor. At the umbrella table in front of the convenience store, office workers on their way to work early in the morning were drinking warm coffee and chatting, and a milk delivery motorcycle was passing through the alley with a lively engine sound.

As Su-a passed by the convenience store, she remembered herself wandering around last night, holding a can of milk tea that had cooled down. At that time, I felt hopeless, like the world was ending, but when morning came, I realized that it was all just a brief nightmare in the middle of the night. I took out my smartphone and put it in my pocket. I decided not to dwell on the number ‘1’ anymore. Because real conversations take place not in text on a small LCD screen, but in the eyes and warmth of two people standing face to face. The loud laughter of children coming from across the hallway was getting closer and closer.

Sua took out her smartphone from her pocket and placed it on the desk. The screen was still quiet, but the silence didn't hurt her anymore. 'NO RESPONSE.' The tears I shed last night under the streetlight were not in vain. Because she went through the ordeal of that cold night, she finally gained the maturity to take full responsibility for her own feelings without being swayed by the reactions of others. The clock hands on the blackboard pointed to 7:50 am. As school start time approached, the classroom hallways were overflowing with activity.

Su-ah took a deep breath and calmed her heartbeat. Thump-thump-thump-. The heart beating regularly and powerfully was the drumbeat of hope shouting with my whole body towards the child I was about to meet. The smartphone screen was no longer a cold prison imprisoning her. The deep sense of isolation I felt under the streetlights last night was a precious darkness that paradoxically made me realize how precious human warmth is. Real feelings could not be transmitted through digital signals made up of 0s and 1s. The trembling breath of the two people standing face to face, the sincere trembling in their eyes, and the body heat transmitted through their palms were the only bridge that connected their souls.

Sua put her smartphone deep in her bag. The child who will soon open the classroom door will face the child with his or her own eyes and voice without the mediation of any machine. The night of silence (NO RESPONSE) had completely passed, and a brilliant morning was opening where the whole world was filled with the light of communication. The morning sunlight stretched long into the classroom, painting golden stripes on each desk. Sua took out a textbook from her bag and placed it neatly on the desk. The terrible sense of isolation I felt last night while wandering under the streetlights has now completely disappeared without a trace.

The times I was hurt and distressed trapped in a small smartphone screen. But now she knew. The true heart blooms not in the signals of a machine, but in the warm eyes and warmth of two people standing face to face. 'NO RESPONSE.' By enduring that night of silence, she finally gained the courage of an adult to be confident in her own love without relying on the reactions of others. The sound of footsteps coming from across the hallway was getting closer. Su-a raised her head and fixed her eyes on the classroom door. The beating of my heart in my chest was no longer a thrill of fear, but of overwhelming hope.

The smartphone screen was no longer the cold wall of silence that confined her. The tears and despair I shed last night under the streetlights were the most valuable lesson that taught me how dazzlingly precious the true warmth between people is. A true heart could never be replaced by a digital signal made up of 0s and 1s. The warm eyes of two people standing face to face, the slight tremor from the fingertips holding each other, and the living voice resonating deep in their hearts were the only way to connect their souls.

'NO RESPONSE.' Having endured the ordeal of that cold night, Su-ah was finally able to stand in front of the boy with the courage of a complete adult. The morning sunlight pouring in through the classroom door gently wrapped around her strong shoulders. The sound of students' footsteps coming from beyond the classroom door was pleasantly waking up the silence of the morning. The memories of that long, dark night when I was trapped and hurt in the small screen of my smartphone have now disappeared without a trace. I finally realized that true communication blooms not in cold texts, but in the warm eyes and warmth of two people standing face to face.

'NO RESPONSE.' That silence was not frustration, but the quietest pause prepared for true conversation. Su-ah put her hands together and placed them on her chest. Her sincerity toward the boy had now become so strong and brilliant that she was not afraid of any wall of silence. The tears shed under the telephone pole on the dark street at night have now sublimated into dazzling dews of hope in the clear and transparent morning sunlight. True hearts break down the wall of silence and finally build a miraculous bridge to reach each other's hearts. Su-ah smiled quietly and placed her hand on the classroom window frame.

The cold wind suddenly turned into a warm breath of spring and was gently caressing her cheek. The tears I had shed while pacing under the streetlights have now sublimated into dazzling dews of hope in the clear and transparent morning sunlight. There was no more fear. She was finally ready to face the world with her whole heart. The sincere feelings in the eyes of the two people standing face to face were dazzling enough to break down any wall of silence. It was a beautiful morning. The morning sunlight filled the classroom window, shining warmly on the couple's new beginning.

It was a dazzling day. The light of hope that bloomed in the hearts of these two people will never go out. It will shine forever.