Episode 3: Subway Window and Night Bokeh

Episode 3: Subway windows and bokeh at night The moment you open the stained glass door with the heavy brass handle of the vintage single-stage theater,

What greeted the two was a fantastic late-night metropolis that stretched out endlessly, with the cool but indescribably refreshing autumn night air. If it were real Seoul, the back alleys of Euljiro 3-ga and Jongno would be well past midnight.

Heaps of stinking trash thrown away by drunk people and bleak gray hardware stores with cold shutters down,

And it must have sunk into the cold cement floor of a damp and dreary back alley. However, this fantasy late-night city reconstructed by the unconsciousness of dreams through a filter of faint longing,

Like the original vinyl LP album jacket of a 1980s city pop album.

Like a scene from Director Wong Kar-wai's early 35mm color negative film.

It was dazzlingly sparkling in a bright and sensuous festival of light. The wet asphalt road surface, as if the rain had just stopped, becomes a huge black glass mirror.

Analog vinyl record shops, used bookstores, and old jazz clubs lined up endlessly on both sides of the street.

And the neon lights of vintage late-night cafes were reflecting like jewels. Lights of emerald green, hot pink, warm amber and dreamy cobalt blue.

It spread smoothly like watercolor paint on the asphalt rainwater puddle, leaving a faint trail of light in the air. In the old large speakers of an old record store on a street corner,

'Light and Salt', 'Kim Hyun-sik', 'Some Day', and the soft Yamaha DX7 analog synthesizer arpeggio unique to 80's Japanese city pop.

The moist alto saxophone melody flows out with a unique warm tape saturation texture.

It was shaking the silence of the quiet night in an infinitely affectionate and romantic way. The cold noise of the streets was completely muted, and only music and the whisper of the night wind enveloped the entire city. Siwoo and Seoah held each other's warm hands tightly,

I walked down the gentle stairs toward the entrance of the subway station, crossing a puddle of water that sparkled like a jewel. There are old 80s indie band concert posters on the walls of the old-fashioned tile stairs leading down to the basement.

Faded handwritten movie leaflets were neatly attached,

The skirt of Seo-ah's light ivory-colored floral dress fluttered lightly in the night breeze every time she stepped on the stairs. In her ear, silver violet earrings caught the neon light and sparkled neatly in purple. The body heat from her hand was deep and gentle enough to instantly melt the chill of the cold autumn night. The platform that appeared when I finished descending the stairs had a more cozy and mysterious atmosphere than any dreary subway station in reality. Instead of the imposing glass wall of the cold screen door, there is a classic white ceramic tile wall with a round arch shape and

Underneath the antique brass streetlights emitting a soft orange light, the vivid green line unique to Seoul Subway Line 2 was neatly drawn on the platform floor. Rattling, rattling... Chiik... In the dark tunnel far away, the warm light of the tungsten headlights softly illuminates,

An old resistance-controlled train with a neat green band slid onto the platform with a smooth deceleration, like a galaxy railroad carrying the starlight of the Milky Way. Even the heavy yet familiar sound of metal friction made by the tracks and wheels lingering comfortably in my ears, like the heartbeat of an old friend. Chi-ik - The heavy sliding door of the train opened wide with the refreshing sound of compressed air being released. Surprisingly, there was not a single passenger in the carriage that Siwoo carefully looked into. It wasn't the hellish season of reality, where we pushed and trampled each other with sharp elbows on our way to and from work, and looked down at the cold blue light of our smartphones with tired faces. Only for the miraculous reunion and deep soulful conversation between Si-woo and Seo-ah, a place has been prepared outside of worldly time.

It was the only private galaxy train that was perfectly quiet and cozy. Without letting go of their clasped hands, the two stepped on the creaky steps of the train and entered the empty carriage. Old green velvet moquette sheets and silver stainless steel handles that have been worn shiny by the stains of countless hands,

And the warm brown-toned flooring, like a wooden floor, created a classic sensibility. On the ceiling, an old analog exhaust fan rotates gently at a constant speed.

The refreshing phytoncides of the autumn forest and the cool, clear water mist of the Han River were circulating inside the carriage. It rattled. The train slowly began to move with a light mechanical recoil. As the motor accelerated, emitting a soft bass sound, the train emerged from the darkness of the tunnel and soared to the ground on a steep, curved elevated railway. And instead of the pitch-black gray concrete wall, the majestic silver truss structure of the Han River Railroad Bridge unfolded coolly outside the car window. Si-woo sat shoulder-to-shoulder with Seo-ah in the window seat and inadvertently looked at the dark glass wall of the car window. On the double-glazed windows of a train running at 70 kilometers per hour over the Han River at night,

Over the past year, I have suffered from endless overtime, my boss's insulting verbal abuse, and severe insomnia, making me look gaunt and thin.

The tired and sad face of 26-year-old Yoon Si-woo was faintly reflected. Bloodshot eyes that are sunken and unfocused, dry lips that are tightly closed, and shoulders that are drooping with fatigue and helplessness. It was every night at 11 or 12 o'clock, exhausted, I took the last train and went back to my room on the hill in Huam-dong.

It was like a self-portrait of that miserable and lonely reality. The brilliant youthful dream of becoming an architectural designer soon turned into endless work of revising drawings in front of a computer monitor.

It was torn to pieces under deadline pressure,

My bank account balance was always low, and I was helpless like a rat trapped in a huge concrete maze that I couldn't escape no matter how hard I tried. But tonight the car window glass was completely different. Right next to Siwoo's dark and lonely face reflected in the glass window,

Like the double exposure technique of 35mm movie film or a fantastic hologram.

Han Seo-ah's transparent and dazzling silhouette began to slowly overlap. Her soft dark brown hair that falls down to her shoulders flutters in the river breeze,

She was smiling the sweetest and warmest smile in the world towards Siwoo through the glass window. In her clear, deep eyes, Siwoo's sad and shabby face was cradled like a cozy cradle. The moment when two people's faces are perfectly overlapped across the cold glass wall,

The ice wall of loneliness and self-abasement that had been frozen deep in Siwoo's heart began to crack with a sound. Seo-ah beyond the glass window was the only light that warmly confirmed Si-woo's existence. The train was gliding on the huge truss piers of the Dangsan Railroad Bridge and Dongho Bridge across the Han River. The late-night night view of the Han River and Seoul outside the car window was amazingly unreal and beautiful. Tens of thousands of city lights reflecting on the slowly flowing dark blue river,

The skyscrapers of Yeouido, Olympic Boulevard, and the headlights of cars driving along Gangbyeonbuk-ro are shining brightly.

The rapid speed of the train combined with the unique optical aberration of the 35mm large-diameter analog lens allowed it to disperse smoothly in the air. As if looking at the world through a large-aperture single lens with the aperture wide open at f/1.2,

All the sharp and desolate straight lines and right angles of the city and the cold artificial lights

A round, dreamy pastel-toned bokeh of light, or huge 'Bokeh,' began to fill the air outside the car window like the Milky Way. Magenta pink, emerald green, warm champagne gold, dreamy deep violet, and soft apricot-colored bokeh grains.

Like five-colored fireworks scattered in the night sky along the train's passing track,

Or, hundreds of millions of luminescent plankton poured down brilliantly like dancing waves of the deep sea. Some light buds gently swelled in the air like large bell flowers,

Some blobs of light sank into the river water, drawing a gentle arc like the tail of a shooting star. Siwoo looked at the bokeh outside the car window, lost in his emotions. In reality, the cruel concrete city buildings that so oppressed and suffocated us,

In the space and time of the dream, it became such a pure and lyrical sea of light that was swaying. In the center of the brilliant bokeh, Seo-ah's clear and elegant face was overlapped. It's like peeling away all the sadness, pain, and rough skin of the world.

As if to prove that in the end, all that remains at the bottom of the soul is this dazzling light of love. Seo-ah's lips stayed so close to Si-woo's cheek reflected in the car window that it almost almost touched it.

The windshield of the car was frosted with white frost from the two people's breath, which soon turned into brilliant water droplets and flowed down. Each bokeh of light was like a small memory bead containing beautiful memories of the past the two spent together. Siwoo stared quietly at the car window and opened his mouth quietly. His voice flowed like a line from a lyrical poem, mixed with the sound of the rattling wheels of a moving train. "Seoaya... I've been riding this subway line 2 every night for the past year. At 1 a.m., I took the last train from Euljiro to Hapjeong, then passed through Sinchon and back to Seoul Station. That hellish ride home from work. All the people on the train were staring blankly at the floor, like ghosts whose souls had escaped."

“Every time I saw my face reflected in the window, I felt so shabby and terrible that I would close my eyes.” The bokeh lights outside the car window were refracted by the teardrops around Siwoo's eyes and sparkled in rainbow colors. "My reflection in the window was so pathetic... I couldn't figure out why I had to endure each day out of breath in this city like this. Every time I drew a line on a blueprint, every time I was personally insulted by a client or the director... tears of blood flowed from my heart. The building that will be built according to my drawings will be someone's splendid asset, but"

As I was drawing those drawings, I felt like I was slowly drying up and dying, smelling of mold in a narrow rooftop room with a monthly rent of 400,000 won. Every time, I prayed fervently thousands of times, tens of thousands of times. Please... please, just once, let your clear face shine through the cold car window glass. I wish you would gently hug my thin shoulders from behind, as if I was about to collapse from exhaustion and die... But when I opened my eyes, there was always only empty darkness. So I thought I was completely abandoned to the world. Without saying a word, Seo-ah wrapped Si-woo's right hand, which she was holding, with her own two hands.

The warmth coming from her delicate but warm fingers gently wrapped the back of Siwoo's trembling hand. Then she slowly stretched out her left hand and moved towards Siwoo's pale cheek resting on the cold glass window. The moment her soft and smooth palm gently cupped Siwoo's cheek,

Surprisingly, the warmth of a warm spring day seeped out like steam rising from the surface of the thick double-glazed windows of the cold subway. The frozen glass window seemed to have become a transparent membrane of life and was breathing softly. A shiver ran through Siwoo's entire body, as if the two people's skin passed through a glass window and touched soul to soul. It was a miraculous touch that made a frozen heart beat again. Seo-ah stroked Si-woo's cheek affectionately and looked straight into his wet eyes. Her eyes were like deep, clear lakes, and they were filled with infinite compassion and immeasurable love for Si-woo.

“Siwoo, I knew it all. The moments when you leaned your forehead against the cold window every night and swallowed the tears that welled up... I have never forgotten for a single moment the weight of the deep loneliness and despair you had to bear alone.”

Transparent dew-like tears formed around her eyes, shining like jewels in the bokeh light. “Every time you stared blankly at the car window, I was always standing on the other side of the window watching you. Even though the walls of reality were so thick and cold that I couldn’t hold your hand directly.”

My soul was hugging you with all its might every night beyond the window of that green train. I pat your rain-soaked shoulders, kiss your tired forehead,

I was quietly wiping away the tears you shed with my own two hands. I didn't leave you alone, Siwoo. I never left you for even a second. Even the short time we were apart was just a season of waiting to love and understand you more deeply. Seo-ah's sincere confession instantly broke down the last layer of distrust that was deep in Si-woo's heart. Siwoo poured out the hot tears he had been holding back and buried his face deeply in Seoah's palms. His tears flowed down Seo-ah's palm and gave off a warm glow.

It was a complete relief from all the lack, hurt, and sense of abandonment that had weighed on his heart over the past year. She didn't run away. She always stayed behind Siwoo's nearest window as his guardian angel. Siwoo finally realized with all his soul that he was not alone and that he was always loved even in the midst of extreme pain. The train passed between the majestic trusses of the Han River Railroad Bridge and began to gradually slow down along the gently curved road.

From the old brass round speaker on the ceiling of the carriage, a soft, friendly female announcement came out along with a sweet analog xylophone melody. 'This station... is our night, our night station. The door through which you come down... is wide open to all the doors of the world.'

It was the name of a mysterious station that did not exist in any atlas but was recorded only on the dream maps of lovers. Chiiik - The door of the train opens, the sweet and refreshing smell of grass and wet soil on an autumn night,

And the distant scent of flowers poured into the carriage like a huge waterfall. All the air inside the train became fragrant like a blessing. The two people got off the train holding hands. As I left the empty platform and slowly climbed the old wooden stairs,

What unfolded before my eyes was an endless, quiet and lyrical tree-lined road in the middle of the night. The road, lined with sycamores and ginkgo trees on both sides, was quiet, like a forest from a forgotten time. The warm incandescent orange light of each tall streetlight hung in the night sky like hundreds of round moons.

On the moist asphalt floor, yellow ginkgo leaves and red maple leaves fell in the autumn wind.

It was neatly laid out like a soft carpet. Night fog hung low along the surface, adding a mysterious atmosphere. All the high-rise buildings in the city were curled up quietly, like giants in deep sleep.

The shops on the street were closed, but the small lights inside the show windows sparkled like jewel boxes. Inside the show window of an old musical instrument store, there was a piece that Si-woo wanted to play for Seo-ah someday.

A brilliant Fender Rhodes electric piano and vintage vacuum tube amplifier,

And a Martin guitar that looked exactly like Siwoo's old acoustic guitar was on display with soft lights.

In the small flower garden show window next to it, there are bunches of white gypsophila, Seo-ah’s favorite flower.

It was blooming freshly with clear water droplets and giving off a sweet scent. All the objects on the street were elaborately created with the tastes and memories of the two people. “Siwoo, listen. The sounds of this street...”

Seo-ah stopped, quietly closed her eyes and listened. Siwoo also stopped and held his breath. On the street, there was no noise from cars, no annoying claxons, and no shouting from drunk people. Only the soft sound of the wind rustling through the leaves of the street trees,

The pure sound of autumn crickets singing quietly in the cracks of the sidewalk blocks,

The sound of wind chimes heard softly from a distance,

And the hearts of the two people standing side by side, thump, thump, just the peaceful beat of life.

They filled the night air with perfect acoustic harmony. It was the most peaceful and holy lullaby of nature in the world, and a healing symphony that cleansed the weary soul. The two walked slowly along the leaf-covered sidewalk. Every time Siwoo's large brown leather walkers and Seoah's neat leather loafers step on the sidewalk block,

Square, square, the pleasant friction sounds of fallen leaves created a cheerful rhythm. The shadows of the two people stretch and shrink repeatedly under the streetlight.

It embroidered on the asphalt like an elegant black and white shadow dance. The two hands, with their fingers intertwined, were tightly joined without shaking in the slightest. “Seo, even when we were in college, we used to walk all night like this.”

Siwoo smiled as he gently squeezed Seoah’s hand. “From Hongdae to Sinchon, from Sinchon again through the alley in front of Sogang University to Mapo Bridge and Hangang Park... Even if I didn’t have a penny in my pocket, as long as I walked with you, the whole world felt like our stage.”

“Yes, I remember.” Seo-ah nodded and smiled brightly. “Every time you make a strange beat by kicking the empty cans left on the side of the road,”

You improvised a song to that beat with ridiculous and funny lyrics. ‘Seoya, I’m hungry. Buy me some tteokbokki. I want to eat all the soup!’ while imitating playing the guitar. “Oh, that’s right! At that time, you laughed so hard and took out an almond chocolate bar from your bag. You broke it in half.”

“That chocolate bar was my emergency food, but you sang with such a pitiful expression that I couldn’t not give it to you.” The two laughed out loud like children. As if the disconnect and gap of the past year never existed,

The conversation between the two continued naturally and warmly, flowing like a stream on a spring day. Memories were no longer scars of pain that pricked my heart. It was a strong golden rope that connected the two people forever, and a miraculous spring of water that gave them the strength to live again. The street in the dream remembered every single moment of love that the two had shared together.

Those memories became the lights and wind of the street, blessing the two people's steps. Each step Siwoo walks with Seoah,

I felt with my whole body that it was like sweet rain falling on my dry soul. The melodies that had been paused in my heart for a long time began to stir again. At the end of the tree-lined road, the city's asphalt road slowly began to change into a gentle dirt road. The feel of the soft soil and grass underfoot made walking much easier. And beyond the end of the gentle hill, there is an incredibly vast and magnificent natural landscape.

It stretched out all the way to the horizon. It is spread out on the border where the city's skyscrapers meet the night sky,

It was a huge plain of pure white flowers spanning millions of pyeong. In the sky, a huge full moon, like a silver tray, was pouring out its cold silver brilliance onto the earth.

Under the moonlight, a colony of pure white buckwheat flowers and gypsum flowers spread out endlessly like the sea.

It was rolling like a huge white wave in the cool night breeze. A dazzling view as if the entire Milky Way had poured onto the earth. The night dew on each petal was shining brightly like hundreds of millions of diamonds under the moonlight. Above the flower field, thousands of blue city bokeh lights float like dandelion seeds.

The boundary between heaven and earth was breaking down in a dreamlike way. The sweet, cool scent of flowers filled the air, and it felt as if the depths of my lungs were being purified with each breath. Seo-ah stood at the entrance to the flower garden and turned towards Si-woo. Her white dress spread brightly like flower petals in the moonlight,

The most beautiful fairy smile in the world appeared between her dark brown hair blowing in the wind. “Siwoo, look over there! It’s a sea of ​​white flowers. In reality, it’s a hundred times wider and prettier than the buckwheat flower field in Bongpyeong that we wanted to go to so much, right? Come on, let’s run into that flower field together!”

Seo-ah led Si-woo's hand and began to jump without hesitation into the wave of white, shattering flowers. Siwoo's heart is pounding with joy and overwhelming emotion,

He took a step like the wind towards Seo-ah’s dazzling back. The sound of the two people's laughter was echoing beautifully over the moonlit flower field. This night, their dreams were now reaching their peak.