Episode 3: Oasis Beyond the Mirage

Episode 3: I should have just eaten it. Burning red sand was blowing away in the wind. Instead of the damp, moldy smell of a studio on the third floor of a multi-family house in Mangwon-dong, Mapo-gu, Seoul, what struck my nose was the bitter and sweet scent of caramel, cinnamon, and dried fruit peel. Twenty-eight-year-old sound designer Han Chae-won was sitting down on a red sand dune, looking down at her hands. In the palm of my hand was the unfortunate banana that had been sitting in the corner of the refrigerator a little while ago, blackened and reeking of alcohol.

But what felt against her palm now was not the hideous stickiness of decay. It was as warm as the outside of well-baked toast, and under the marbled shell of dark mahogany and gold, there was a faint but regular pulse. Excited. Excited. Excited. Like a living, breathing little heart.

“…This is ridiculous. Am I crazy right now? Is my brain going crazy after staying up for three nights and chasing deadlines?”

Chaewon took a deep breath and staggered out of her seat. Even though I looked everywhere, there was not even a trace of a concrete building or a car honking. The landscape that unfolded before my eyes was a vast red desert with no end in sight. The sky was colored with deep purple and royal blue aurora, a mixture of dusk and midnight, and the sand dunes were undulating in gentle curves like the spine of a huge animal. And in the middle of the desolate desert, only Chaewon's hand-stained silver small refrigerator stood like a lonely pillar in a temple.

The refrigerator door was wide open at a 90 degree angle. Inside, white frosty steam was rising, and there was an egg tray stuck to the inside of the door, a mayonnaise bottle that was two months past its expiration date, and a half-hardened bottle of strawberry jam. It was as if a corner of the room in reality had been cut out and smashed into this surreal sand field. Chaewon approached the refrigerator with unsteady steps. Refrigerator vegetable compartment. Just a few minutes ago, the transparent plastic drawer where the lonely banana had been frozen to death was empty and radiating a cold air.

A drop of dark brown, sweet juice from a banana peel was frozen on the bottom of the drawer. The moment she looked at the frozen drop, a sharp pain rose up in Chaewon's chest. “I should have… just eaten it.” It wasn't just regret. It was a feeling of self-destruction, as if all the habits of procrastination and procrastination that Chaewon had repeated over the past few years in her life had turned into a lump of lump that was blocking her throat. A week ago, when she put these yellow banana bunches in her cart at the fresh food section of a large supermarket, Chaewon's mind was full of plausible plans.

'I should take care of my health and fill myself with energy by eating one every morning before I start work.'

'The last thing left is when this outsourcing work is completed and the music is perfectly mixed, I will have my own celebration party with pancakes topped with whipped cream and enjoy it.'

So many plans for the ‘perfect moment’. But the perfect moment never came. Clients were pouring in feedback every day asking us to change the mixing balance.

The bank account balance was depleted,

While Chae-won's daily life was reduced to sleep and she was hanging in front of the monitor, her daily life crumbled to dust. Chaewon always thought. 'Let's just finish this and eat.'

'Hold on a little longer, and when you feel truly at ease, let's eat with the sweetest feeling.'

'If I eat it now, this little luxury and excitement will disappear. 'You have to save it.' That twisted moderation and perfectionism. A terrible self-censorship that makes you believe that you are not yet worthy of happiness. Chaewon constantly pushed that happiness away to tomorrow, the day after, and next week. During the 'golden time' when bananas gave off the most dazzling golden color and fresh scent, Chaewon was never able to fully enjoy the bananas. And in the end, Chaewon left the banana until it suffered from low temperature in the refrigerator and slowly froze, forming black bruises and rotting away. No, it wasn't that it was neglected, it was that it was 'caressed and then ruined'. “I should have just eaten it… Even if it tasted a little less, I should have just peeled it and chewed it without thinking when I was hungry…”

Chaewon’s voice trembled. A melody spontaneously formed in her head and flowed out as lyrics. It was the melody of an indie pop track that Chaewon had been making all night recently. ‘I have a rotten banana in my hand.

It doesn't have the sweetness I hoped for

I said to myself, wondering if it was my fault.

I should have just eaten it... ' The very moment the lyrics left Chaewon's lips and spread into the empty space of the desert. The dark red banana that had been quietly lying on Chaewon's palm suddenly began to wiggle. “Finch-!”

“Ugh?!”

Chaewon was shocked and shook off her hands. The banana fell on the red sand and rolled around. Chaewon took a step back and hunched over. "W-what?! Did you just move?!" At that time, an angry, grumbling voice rang out from the banana that had fallen down the sand dune. “Ouch, ouch! Hey, you heartless sound designer girl! A person… no, what should I do if you hit a banana like that?! I already got a bone disease from the refrigerator and every cell in my body is on the verge of being crushed, but you decided to crush my bones!” “…Heek?!”

Chaewon rubbed her eyes again and again. I couldn't believe my ears. I heard a sound. A handsome boy with a very clear frequency and a slightly bright and funky texture... No, it was Banana's voice. A banana stuck on the sand turns over and sticks out small, plump hands and feet like bean sprout heads from both ends of the shell! Two small, yellow legs sticking out stood on the sand. Banana shook off the red sand from the peel and placed both cute hands on her waist. At the top of his shell, just below the top, were two round, clear eyes and a protruding mouth. Although more than half of the body was covered with black-brown spots (signs of extreme sugar spot decomposition) caused by low-temperature disturbance.

Those eyes were burning like the sun in a tropical jungle. “You… you… what?! Why is the banana talking?!”

Chaewon was shocked and pointed her finger. The banana sighed as if it was exasperated, and stomped its feet flashily as if it were tap dancing on the red sand. Crack! Crash! “Who am I? I am ‘Bana’, the youngest of the seven banana brothers who was crying in the icy cold at the bottom of the vegetable compartment of your cramped one-room refrigerator just a moment ago! This is outrageous, really! You threw yourself in the refrigerator and now you ask for my identity?” “B… Bana…?”

“Yes, Bana! A top-quality Cavendish banana, born in the volcanic ash soil of Mindanao Island, soaked in sunlight, and brought across the Pacific Ocean! Do you know how bright an emerald color it was when I was lying on that supermarket shelf? Those perfect days of youth, just turning from light green to dazzling gold! When I was chosen by you, I thought my life… no, my fruitage was in full bloom!” Bana's small fists were shaking as if she was overcome with resentment.

“But how did you treat me? As soon as I got home, instead of hanging the bananas on a pretty rack, you threw them in the corner of the table! Two days later, you stuffed them in a plastic container in the cold and dark refrigerator’s fresh room! Don’t you know that putting tropical fruits in a 3-degree Celsius refrigerator destroys their cell walls?!

I kept putting it off day after day, thinking, ‘I have to save up~ I have to make pancakes on the weekend~’! In the end, you didn’t even look at me until all the black spots like flowers of the underworld spread all over my body and my insides started to melt away!” Bana's harsh words penetrated Chaewon's heart. Chaewon was unable to refute anything and her cheeks blushed. Because what Bana said was true in every detail. This was the result of neglecting the basic sense of storing fruit and just thinking, 'If I put it in the refrigerator, it will never rot.'

“I… I’m sorry… I put it in the refrigerator because I was really afraid it would go bad…”

When Chaewon apologized in a hushed voice, Bana snorted. “Hmph! Ignorance is a sin, ignorance is a sin! And don’t just blame the refrigerator. The real problem is your damn ‘happiness certificate’!”

“…Happiness deferral?”

"Yeah! 'You should have just eaten it?' Ha! What do you do if you regret it later? The bus has already left and the bananas are rotten! You always do that, right? If there's something delicious, you save it and say, 'I'll eat it later on a better day,' and then you make poop! You buy pretty clothes and think, ‘I should wear them on a special day,’ but then they end up in the closet because they are out of style! “I put off working on a song ‘until I come up with the perfect musical idea,’ and then the day before it’s due, I end up crying and pooping!” Chaewon gasped at Bana's sarcastic comment. It felt like I was looking into my own soul through a mirror.

Bana's words were not simply a complaint about the ingredients, but a scathing accusation against the way of life that Chaewon had confined herself to for the past 10 years. Chaewon knelt down on the red sand. The hot desert sand dug into my knees, but it didn't hurt. This is because the regret and sadness welling up in my heart were even hotter.

“…That’s right. You’re right. I’ve always been that way.”

Tears welled up in Chaewon's eyes again. “I was like that when I entered the Applied Music Department at the age of 20. ‘Until I debut, I shouldn’t go out with my friends and only focus on music.’”

It was the same when I started outsourcing work. 'If I finish this project and have 10 million won in my bank account, then I can go on a trip and eat delicious food.'

But Bana… That ‘then’ will never come. When a project is finished, the next deadline approaches, and if you save a little money, it all goes to rent and equipment installments...

“I have never once lived in the ‘now moment.’ The same goes for you. I thought that I had no right to be happy while eating you. So… I tried to save you… but in the end, I killed you like this…” Chaewon’s sincere tears dripped down and wet the red sand. Bana looked at that figure with her arms crossed. Complex emotions passed through Bana’s angry eyes. Pity, bitterness, and a strange sense of kinship. “Ha… Really. Why are you crying? I’m the one who’s rotten, so why are you crying and making such a fuss?”

Bana scratched her head and grumbled. “Hey, sound designer. Don’t cry. Your tears make the desert sand sticky like sugar syrup.” “But… where on earth are we? Why are we in this desert? And why is your torso… so hard?”

Chaewon asked, wiping away tears. Bana patted her stomach. It sounded hard and elastic. “This is the ‘Red Desert of Oblivion.’ It is a surreal dimension where the unfortunate ingredients that have rotted away from all the kitchens and tables of the world under the excuse of ‘later’ gather.” “Red Desert of Oblivion…?”

“Yes. The identity of the red sand is actually burnt cinnamon powder and roasted sugar crystals. And the reason I can live and move like this is because of the sincere tears of regret you shed at the end. The sugar in my flesh, which had frozen while experiencing extreme low-temperature disruption, met your hot body temperature and tears, causing a magical ‘Caramelizing’ reaction. It’s not corruption… it’s extreme concentration and transformation!”

Bana proudly opened her shell wide open. Although black spots covered her entire body, the golden syrup-like radiance flowing between them was so beautiful that it was dazzling. Every time the desert wind blew, Bana's body released a rich, savory, sweet smell like a freshly baked banana tart. Bana tapped Chaewon on the shoulder. Although his hands were small, they carried quite a lot of power. “Listen, Chaewon. You cried, ‘I should have just eaten it,’ right? But I can’t turn back the past. Just like I can’t go back to being a green, green banana again. Does that mean my life ends here in the trash can?” "…no?"

“Of course not! You idiot! Bananas only reach the peak of their sweetness when the skin turns black! If a fresh banana is a refreshing fruit, then a ripe and black banana is itself a perfect natural sugar and a masterpiece of baking! The reason we fell into this red desert was not to rot and disappear forever…”

To find a new recipe that will explode in the sweetest way ‘at this moment’! Chaewon's heart began to pound at Bana's excited shout. 'The sweetest, most explosive new recipe... ?'

It was a metaphor for the unconventionality and freedom that Chaewon had always longed for while making music, but was unable to even try for fear of failure. “So… what are we supposed to do here?”

When Chaewon asked, Bana pointed to the horizon beyond the desert, where a red sandstorm swirled. “Over there, there is an ‘oasis of forgotten fruits’ and the legendary ‘Golden Blender.’ We must go there and liberate the true rhythm and sweetness sleeping within us. Only then can you return to your broken daily life and complete true music, and I, too, can be sublimated into the legendary banana bread, not a rotten waste!”

At that time, a mechanical 'click' sound rang from Chaewon's silver refrigerator, which was standing tall behind her. Chaewon and Bana turned their heads at the same time. The light inside the refrigerator was slowly changing from blue to red. And inside the transparent ice dispenser window on the freezer door, a golden hourglass began slowly pouring out sand. Shhh-

The golden sugar powder that filled the top of the hourglass fell down the thin glass neck. Bana's expression instantly became serious. “…I don’t have much time.”

“What is that again?”

“It’s the timer on the refrigerator. When the golden sugar runs out, the refrigerator door closes forever. When the door closes, you will never be able to return to the real world, and I will become dry sand dust in this desert and disappear forever.” Chaewon swallowed dry saliva. Although it was a surreal space, the cruel rules were no different from reality. The 'deadline' that had always been strangling her was still at work in this desert. But it was different from previous deadlines. This deadline was not a time of labor for the approval of others, but a true golden time to save the lives of oneself and this little banana fairy.

Bana grinned and took out small sunglasses from her pocket and put them on her eyes. They were black, hip-hop style sunglasses of unknown origin. “Okay, sound designer girl. That’s it for the whining! Anyway, it’s spilled water and a rotten banana. Wouldn’t it be best to only regret the first verse and start with the beat from the second verse?” Bana lightly stamped her feet and started beatboxing.

“Drum-chit, head-butt, doom-chit, doom-doom-chit! Hey Chae-won, listen to the sand! I held back too long now it’s all gone wrong,”

Thought I was strong but time’s never been long! Regret's a heavy weight on my chest,

Should’ve tasted it now it’s a rotten mess! Surprisingly, the rap that came out of Bana's mouth was a variation of the melody that Chaewon had just recited. Faster, more groovy, and explosive energy that turns self-mocking sadness into delightful funk! Chaewon's ears as a sound designer perked up. Every time Bana's stomps bounce off red sand grains,

The entire desert vibrated like one giant sub-woofer. The wind whistled and added a hi-hat sound,

The heavy sound of the sand dune collapsing hit the floor like an 808 bass kick. Thump-thud-thump-wow! It was a life force on a different level from the sound that Chaewon used to moan in the corner of the room, turning down the volume of the monitor speaker and moaning in the headphones. The sounds that were suffocating due to perfect acoustic levels and noise cancellation,

In the vast space of the desert, they were bouncing and ringing at will, creating miraculous harmony. “What do you think? Just quiet down?”

Bana spun around in the air and landed. "It can't be compared to the boring music you always calculated in your head, right? Music or life, it's not just delicious when it's fresh. Just at the point where you think you've missed the right time and ruined it, a funky fermented groove that only rotten fruit can produce explodes!" The corner of Chaewon's mouth went up without realizing it. The tears around my eyes dried in the wind, and the tension disappeared. I felt the heavy guilt that was weighing on my heart becoming lighter little by little through Bana's cheerful beat. “…You’re pretty, Bana.”

“Not quite! I was the best dancer and rapper in Mindanao! Now, let’s get going. There’s no time to sit around and show off my rotten self. Let’s cross that desert and bring back our lost sweetness!” Bana took the lead and started walking towards the red sand dunes. Golden sugar powder sparkled on the sand with each of his tiny footprints. Chaewon looked back. Golden sugar was still flowing relentlessly from the hourglass in the silver refrigerator. Time doesn't stop. Even when you stay in regret, time passes, and even when you hesitate, the banana will rot further. 'I can't be tied up in the past, crying and saying I should have just eaten.'

Chaewon clenched her fists. If you can't erase past mistakes, you can use them as ingredients to create a completely new dish. By combining broken bananas and broken daily life again, the sweetest and richest scent in the world blooms. “Bana! Come with me!”

Chaewon shouted and took a powerful step toward the red sand dunes. The crunchy, burning sugar sand tickled my ankles with every step I took.

The rhythm carried by the wind lingered endlessly in my ears. It wasn't just a physical step. An isolated soul who tortured herself, curled up in her room, waiting for the perfect moment,

It was a liberating leap that finally broke my self-destructive wallow and threw myself into the imperfect noise of the world. Everyone dreams of the perfect prime of life. Just as a banana shows off its flawless, clear yellow color and a desirable appearance at the center of the table,

They also long for their youth to be filled with only the most dazzling and flawless success. However, the reality was always a series of merciless low-temperature obstacles. Unexpected failures and delays, relationships that have grown cold, and fragments of dreams that are blackening one by one as time goes by. However, Bana revealed a new truth to Chaewon. The black bruise is not a wound, but evidence of sweetness condensed deep inside. Just as not all fruits need to be loved solely for their freshness,

This means that human life can also release a deeper and heavier caramel flavor only when the stains of failure and regret spread. Under the purple sky at dusk,

Chaewon Han, a young sound designer, leaves behind an abandoned silver refrigerator and walks towards the vast desert,

Bana, the little rotten banana fairy who comes to life. Their strange journey began in a swamp of terrible self-reproach and regret.

Now, beyond the sighs of despair, they were taking their first powerful steps toward exciting grooves and a grand adventure of salvation. A huge sugar sandstorm was approaching from the other side of the desert,

There was no longer any fear in Chaewon’s heart. Although all I held in my hand was a bruised, rotten banana,

Because there was a sweet revolution that was unimaginable and the most powerful bassline that had never been heard anywhere in the world. Bana's small steps ran ahead, hitting a cheerful rhythm,

Chaewon followed the rhythm and jumped over the sand dune with light steps. Now, a full-scale journey to the oasis where forgotten fruits were waiting was unfolding before our eyes.